Will You Scream When You're Alone?
by SyntheticSympathy
Summary: Even the beautiful lose control, and Jenny Humphrey is no exception.


**Authors Note: Yes, I plan on continuing another story, but while listening to 'Scream' by Hedley I had the sudden urge to start writing this story as well. This is my own take on Season 4 and will barely follow the new episodes if at all.**

**No, I don't own Gossip Girl, but I wish I did.**

**Rate and Reviews are loved.**

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_H__er steps were slow and cautious; her gaze scanning the darkly lit room with searching eyes. Every bone in her body told her that she shouldn't be there, looking for the boy whose relationship she had helped ruin, but then again she didn't really have anywhere else to go. Eyes of blue gray fell on the empty bed where she had sat cross-legged only that morning, watching Nate sleep. _

_He'd had every reason to throw her out on her ass, but like always he was willing to take her in. No matter how wrong her life went, it always seemed like Nate was there to make it all better. So what, if Jenny conveniently chose to forget that she always played second fiddle to whatever his flavor of the week was or that to him she was nothing more than a little sister? Did it really matter that he had caused just as much heartache for the young blonde as he had happiness? Not really. Jenny Humphrey was a teenage girl in love, and where others might only look through rose colored glasses they had a tendency to be not only oblivious but utterly blind as well._

_Jenny turned her head sharply, her eyes focusing as a flash of light from the couch side lamp flooded the room. Her gaze fell on the chocolate brown orbs of the man she had once hated like no other; Chuck Bass. Despite what had happened at the Kiss on the Lips party two years before, the devil himself had become a dark knight of sorts, saving her from a few sticky situations and treating her like the adult Nate couldn't see. Confusion flooded her senses as she looked at the broken expression on his face, realizing sadly that she must look something similar._

"_Chuck," her voice was soft – sultry and childish all at the same time, "what are you doing?"_

"_Trying to forget," his voice was smooth but edged with despair, "I did the most romantic thing I could think of and it didn't work…it was never going to."_

_Jenny stepped closer, her feet stopping her just in front of the couch as she stared apologetically at the broken form in front of her. _

"_I'm sorry," she said finally, unsure of how to comfort someone else when she felt as if the sun would never shine again. Jenny looked away then, swallowing the lump in her throat as she stared towards the doorway. Chuck lifted his drink to his lips, desperate for the warmth of the amber liquid inside._

"_Well," Jenny glanced at him again, the fingers of her free hand curling into her palm as she shifted awkwardly, "since Nate's not here I guess I'll just go." The soft sigh that escaped her lips was barely audible, "Not that I really have anywhere to go."_

"_You can stay here if you want," he offered, the hand holding his drink lifting in an uncaring gesture, "it's not like you haven't before."_

"_Well," Jenny tried to shrug it off, her hand waving as she stared at him, "yeah, but that was always with Nate…playing video games or watching movies, or whatever." The last syllable of her sentence came out breathless as she stared at the brown haired man before her._

_Chuck was silent for a moment, contemplating his next words before staring at Jenny through heavy lids. _

"_Well I don't play videogames. So, if you want to hang with me you do what I do."_

_Jenny stared at the glass raised towards her, realizing that she was beyond the point of being able to care. Her steps were heavy and laden with the weight of the world as she grabbed the glass from Chuck and sat down beside him._

"_I'm trying to forget some things too," her voice was little more than a whisper as she stared sadly at the crystal in her hands, "mostly how happy I thought I'd be once I made it in this world."_

_The brandy burned her throat; a nice reminder that despite everything she was still capable of feeling something. Jenny Humphrey was at rock bottom, running away from her problems and hopelessly chasing after her 'shining knight in Armani' who was supposed to make it all right. Instead, ironically, she had found Chuck Bass, the creature of her freshman nightmares and oddly enough the only person capable of understanding her pain. Perhaps it takes someone at the bottom to recognize a fellow lost soul._

_"The world you're looking for only exist from the outside," his words were chilling, "the only reason I survive in it is because I always knew it was empty."_

_He looked at Jenny with lifeless eyes, and the young blonde couldn't help but look away. It hurt to know that they were the same, and the reality of what he said brought water to her eyes quicker than the drink in her hand.___

_"Yeah, and now I know too," she whispered swallowing down the lump in her throat, as she refused to look at the man beside her, "I found out the hard way."_

_Jenny raised the glass to her lips, drinking in the amber fire as if she were parched and dying of thirst. Anything…anything to take away the mind numbing pain and emptiness that threatened to consume her. _

"_The hard way," Chuck's voice was cold and flat, "is the only way."_

_His hand found Jenny's own as she passed him the glass; his index finger overlapping three of hers. Their eyes didn't meet...not at first. The two broken souls leaned closer, his finger brushing lightly over hers. For a brief second Jenny remembered the way he held her hand at the Kiss on the Lips party, but just as quickly she pushed it away. The young woman just wanted to feel, and there was no Dan to come bursting through the door to save her this time around. In truth, he probably wouldn't have bothered after what Jenny had done to him. It was then that their eyes met, and behind the emptiness...behind the hopelessness Jenny could see a little bit of the fire that made Chuck Bass who he was, and Jenny wanted it.___

_Their lips touched, and just like that night on the roof she could taste expensive alcohol and the finest cigarettes money could buy. There was something else though...desperation; need. Jenny knew that it wasn't her that he needed, just the company she brought but just for a moment she could pretend. Her father didn't need her, Dan didn't need her and Nate obviously didn't want her. She had alienated everyone around her, and yet...just this once...this one night she could pretend that someone needed HER, little Jenny Humphrey from Brooklyn._

_"If you want to leave, now would be the time." _

Jenny woke with a start, her eyes scanning the small compartment of the subway frantically as she fought for a grasp on reality once more.

It wasn't the first time she had dreamed of that night, and she knew without a doubt that it wouldn't be her last. Why however, did she have to have it today of all days? Couldn't the damn dream have waited for another day or two when she was safely settled into life once more? Jenny grabbed her phone out of her bag and checked the time. It wouldn't be long now...she would be 'home' soon. She would be back in the hustle and bustle of the Upper East Side where everyone knew and hated her name.

It wasn't that she wanted to go back, but that she had to. During her time away she had done a lot of thinking and spent a lot of my time trying to fix the shambles that had become her life. Going back to Rufus and Lily was more of a need then a want. How was she supposed to know if she really had changed if she didn't put herself back into the situation that had turned her into the empty shell she had become? How was she supposed to know that she had become the person she wanted to be until she faced down Blair Waldorf and the rest of the Upper East Side on their own turf?

It had taken a lot of convincing to get Dad on her side again. She'd told him that she had taken to brushing my hair again, and there wasn't all that 'black shit' on her eyes any more. She told him that she was ready to accept that he was married to Lily and that they were a family. She even told him that she realized how stupid it was that she'd tried so desperately to become Queen B and that most of all she had found herself again. It took three days after that call for him to answer back, and Jenny couldn't help but think she had Lily to thank for most of it. She had to raise Serena of course she would know all about the shit that goes down on the UES. Then Eric...well Eric was always on her side no matter what hell she put him through. As for everyone else; they didn't know she was coming back yet...except for Nate.

The subway came to a halt and Jenny slowly grabbed what bags she hadn't sent on ahead of her and trudged towards the staircase that would take her to the main platform of Grand Central. Her eyes scanned the crowded building looking…hoping to find a familiar face.

"Jenny!"

Jenny closed her eyes, tears forming as she recognized the voice calling her name. It was Nate! Nate had come to see her! Jenny flew into his arms, her own wrapping around his neck in a tight bear hug. It wasn't until she heard the small cough from his right side that she let go and inspected the disturbance to her moment of happiness. It was a girl. The smile on Jenny's face disappeared almost instantly. Of course he would already have a new girlfriend...he was Nate Archibald, and she was simple Little Jenny Humphrey. She should have been used to this.

**"**Nate,"

she said quietly, extracting herself from the man of her dreams only to fidget with one of the buttons of her coat, "it's nice to see you again...with someone."


End file.
